October 27, 2025
ACT and psychological flexibility: when crocheting a baby blanket for Ellie
Written by Iwona Powley, BCaBA
It all started at my birthday party in August. One of my guests, Claire (a wonderful woman and mom) shared that her daughter Ellie was expecting a baby. So naturally, I asked to be included in the baby shower. When the invitation arrived, I got truly excited. I wanted to do something meaningful, something personal and from the heart. And then it came to me: a handmade baby blanket. Perfect.
And so, my little ACT journey began.
Step 1
Values
My intention was clear: to create something beautiful, filled with love and care. What I didn't think about at first were things like allergies or sensitivities for the baby. Minor details, right? But my value was there: give something warm, personal, and meaningful.
Step 2
Committed Action
I jumped right in, full of enthusiasm. Maybe a bit too much. I tried cutting corners, used the wrong yarn, skipped measuring, didn't plan properly. But I was doing something aligned with my values: taking action, even if imperfectly.
Step 3
Being Present
When things started going sideways, I eventually managed to pause. I took a breath, took a break, and focused on what was right in front of me instead of spiraling into frustration about what I had already messed up. This was not an easy thing to do.
Step 4
Acceptance
Attempt 1: wrong yarn, wrong measurements, too small. Attempt 2: right yarn, but a pattern beyond my skill level. I poured hours in and couldn't stop. I was grieving the time and effort, not ready to admit it wasn't working.
Then one night, lying in bed, I realized I needed to defuse: to separate myself from the "bad blanket." I accepted it wasn't going to be the masterpiece I imagined. So I let it go and started over.
Attempt 3: miscounted stitches. This time, I didn't spiral. I accepted it and restarted, lighter and calmer. Then came Attempt 4, the one that finally worked.
Step 5
Defusion
This was the key moment. I stopped forcing something that wasn't working. I stepped back, saw the situation for what it was, and let go. I used what I'd learned from my previous "failures" to move forward more thoughtfully.
Step 6
Self-as-Context
I reminded myself that I'm still a beginner. Each attempt wasn't a failure. It was part of the story, part of me growing. I wasn't the bad blanket. I was the person making the blanket, learning patience, flexibility, and persistence along the way.
It may look like I wasted a week, but really I demonstrated psychological flexibility: I adapted, learned, stayed connected to my value, and kept going.
Crocheting this baby blanket turned into a perfect metaphor for ACT. Each mistake, restart, and adjustment reflected what psychological flexibility truly means: noticing when things aren't working, accepting the discomfort, and gently returning to what matters.
It wasn't just about making something for Ellie. It was about allowing myself to be human, imperfect, and in progress.
Reflections
